Insecurity

All of my life I have been a little bit self-conscious of a couple of things on my body that I DO NOT LOVE. I am taking this moment to reflect on how great my body has been for me though. I am not ungrateful by any means, I am just telling you about an imperfection...I am laughing at myself really. So please laugh with me!

The first thing on my body that I wished would disappear was a birth mark the size of a silver dollar on my right arm. Though is was really more the shape of Kentucky than a silver dollar. It has faded a lot through the years so most people don't even notice it there anymore, but back in the day it was a HUGE insecurity of mine. People would tell me I had dirt on my arm and such. For this reason I was constantly trying to tan my body to make it dissapear. I applied sun block to my birthmark but not to my arm. I distinctly remember my Kindergarten pictures. Why you ask? Because we had to fold our arms across our chest and smile. I remember two things about having this picture taken...the first was that I didn't want my birth mark to show. So I made sure to spread my perfectly placed fingers down the side of my arm to hide the hideous thing. The second thing I remember about my Kindy pic was that I wanted to be sure that my new yellow headband was in FULL VIEW! So I tilted my head down a bit so that baby would be seen! Wooo-eee! It was a good picture! I should'a posted it, but BLAH! I didn't feel like diggin' through boxes today! LOL!

My #2 insecurity has been my moles. I am a mole-y person! It's true. I know it could be worse and I know that it makes me seem so pouty and boo-hoo-y that I even have to write this, but I have moles... a lot of them. A few years ago we listened to Larry the Cable Guy tell about his sister who was covered in moles...when she found Jesus (as he put it) they decided to call her HOLY MOLE-Y! Truly I laugh hysterically when I listen to him tell this story. It's funny. And I relate. But I can't tell you how many times a brother or significant other has joked with me that I should "go down to the city and pay a rat to gnaw that thing off my face." (in all fairness it is a line out of Uncle Buck...remember it?) And again, it is funny but, it stings. The mole that has always given me the most attention, even though it is not the biggest or only one, is the one above my eye. See it?

Of course you see it! How could you not see it! (I put arrows on it so you wouldn't miss it!)
Back in the day when big bangs were the thing, I purposely positioned mine to cover the BIG BLACK MOLE. Then Cindy Crawford appeared in the media and all the sudden moles were the COOLEST! So I lost the bangs and showed her off! Now she isn't so dark anymore and is squishy and I've decided to cover her up again with the more fashionable side swish bangs. Well, this Sunday as I was doing music time with the nursery kids, one of the little boys noticed it. (He is not the first child to do this, so I already knew how to deal with it.) He kept hopping off his chair and pointing at it and trying to touch it. Some kids think it hurts so they say "ouch!" But they all come at me with a pointed finger and a look of pure concern. I brushed it aside and giggled about it. I'm not gonna jump off a cliff cuz I have an ugly mole...but I'm getting a little more comfortable with the idea of having it whacked off! I hope I don't sound too "Whoa is me." I thought I'd share this imperfection and insecurity with you.

Let's be honest...We all have insecurities. However beautiful we are, there is one or two lurking deep in our subconscious, I'm sure. You are deceiving yourself if you think otherwise. I am merely laying mine out on the table for everyone to see.
So if you feel up to it...leave me a comment and tell me about your insecurity...or ONE of them! LOL!